Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
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Top comments
killabee 0
So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.
just_nicole 1
pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:
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Comments (118)
just_nicole 1
pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:
ALegitNinja 0
fail
racerapj 10
Maybe she got "Lost in your Crotch" during the explanation.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Man these non-FMLs are getting so lame. big ******* deal so your gf things you've got small nuts.
WingsFan80 4
I agree with 13. not an fml and big fn deal you have small balls, not the end of the world.
Evan071 0
YDI for having a stupid girlfriend
skroal 7
"It's over 9,000 times bigger!!!"
cassiesaurus 0
bahahahahah.
Granddragon 0
Well it sounds like you had something on you to demonstrate with after all.
ilovechuux13 0
24 ILOVEYOU!!!
Bloodberry 0
28- jaja win! >:)
Jafozza 0
Smalls nuts and small willies are two different things, just so ya know.
SqueakyBootz 0
Why don't you cry some more you self-conscious little boy! So I'm guessing that her eyes represented the sun? Since they obviously lit up when she saw how small the earth was.
bigblue95 0
ydi for answering her. its called the internet she should use it.
mayapril 0
awww. poor little guy. :(
GamerGoddess 0
what kind of a question is that ? r u robbing the cradle? O.O
timmytim1984 0
It does seem to be a big deal.. I would not like it if my chick thought I had small nuts ! LMAO
terranada 3
who cares about the balls?? it's the penis that matters!
NuyoRicanGirl 3
your girl sounds like a perv lmao say yes keep looking at my balls and let's compare it to your holes =p
MsBrainDamage 0
gamergoddess- what games do you play? Let's game!!
NuyoRicanGirl 3
hey # 62 u have xbox or ps3
NuyoRicanGirl 3
hey #62 u have xbox 360 or ps3 ? =)
NuyoRicanGirl 3
damn iPod said it didn't post the first time :-/
afdude87 6
****** pussy ass fmls. Today, I was rock climbing and got my arm stuck. I had to cut it off with a knife. FML. that's a good fml; not oh my stupid girlfriend looked at my crotch when I indicated small stuff. pussy. :/
Guuurlplease 0
YDI for having sex even if you have a small penis
Stupified 0
Watch this, you're gonna love my nuts!
StunnerSarah 0
i haz me sum baseball sized ballzz. so bee jellus betches. >:]
kmow32 0
hey nice as 7 xD
kmow32 0
abs* stupid iPod corrections :P
ZleveL 0
95 that's great! thanks for sharing the size of of lady balls :p
fuzzywazzy012 0
I agree with 13, what the hell is wrong with ppl
Taybabe2525 0
lol that blows but funny xD
killabee 0
So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.
maskedman 9
I agree (no ****). I just think smaller potatoes makes the meat look bigger. That's the only reason I use steroids.
samantha987 0
what? I hope your kidding #
bigredmonkeybutt 30
lmao #4. I'm sure the side effect of shriveled testicles are what most steroid users are going for--the body building is just a cover.
maskedman 9
Small testicles, unbridled rage, and hairy backs FTMW! I'm joking Sam, so please don't send a social worker to my house or anything.
Bubbelz 25
Lmfao 4 I almost rolled out of bed laughing!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Why would it be bad to have small testes? I can understand a tiny willy, but...balls?
troubleinharlem 0
maybe she likes big loads... if you catch my drift.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
ha actually a buddy of mine had very small balls & put out a horrendous load. don't ask me how I know please.
tedirvine 2
how do you know?
Evan071 0
how do u know :)
turtles1321 0
#20 how? seriously this could be interestinf story
coolsteve 0
catch this drift (points to pants)
knights95 9
14- Big loads of what, laundry. (not sexist)
mionee95 0
hahaha(: i like your girlfriend
lyssa_la 0
I agree lol :)
Jakofalltrades18 0
seems like she was just teasing you. relaxx and laugh a little.. unless you really do have tiny balls.
LaPerla 0
hahahahah what an awesome girlfriend :-)
aardvarkish 17
11, did you pull that clip-art just to see how many gullible douches would "Oh how hawt!"
LaPerla 0
What do you mean by clip-art? English is not my first language, therefore I don't quite understand your comment.
starile 20
49: 36 (aardvarkish) is asking whether you just found your user picture somewhere on the internet and used it as your user pic to claim that to be a picture of yourself, to see how many people would compliment how good looking you are. Basically, is your user pic really a picture of you?
LaPerla 0
Why should I take someone else's pic to set as my avatar on this site here? I don't see the point in that? I don't know why you're all behaving so weird towards me, just enjoy reading the funny comments and stop bothering what someone looks like.
6sick6 4
11 you're cute :)
LaPerla 0
Arrrghhh hahah :-) That's so weird, having to defend yourself because of how you look. I'll change my picture to one that looks less provocative to you! Thanks everyone for being so mean towards me :-P
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I think it looks like a genuine picture. A bit provacative, yes, but I think it's her. And, just because she denied that her picture is fake doesn't mean it's not her. That's a completely mental way to look at things. LaPerla, ignore the meanies.(:
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Provocative*
LaPerla 0
Thanks, at least someone who talks sense here. ;-)
Masenko7 12
laperla, ignore the trolls, thats rule num.1 on internet.. and ure cute :)
Granddragon 0
maybe she just suddenly got horny. whip em out for her!
pimpstatus 0
suck it up princess ull get them sooner or later lol
Jake951716 0
ydi for dating a retard
pickledpandas 0
my boyfriend has the biggest balls I've ever seen and that shit terrifies me.
starile 20
Do they make his penis look small?