Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
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Top comments
halcyon93 16
Why would he think he was the one bleeding out? If anything, you'd think he'd assume you were the one hurt.
KristaAaronn 25
I think he needs a sex ed class
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Comments (136)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Sounds like he isn't mature enough to be having sex.
GoodOptions 12
You have a girlfriend.
dark_angel4121 12
Sounds like he never took sex ed. Sorry about that OP, maybe he won't be traumatized after that.
ohishkabibble 21
If he made you bleed from penetrative sex, then you're doing it wrong. Your first time should not hurt, nor should you bleed, as long as you're properly warmed up. That's what happens when you get in a hurry and don't take things slow!
shinikageWolf 15
Okay even I know a girl bleeds her first time....and I'm gay!
DanielleD93 16
That's retarded even if he is a virgin...
DarkRealmGolem 9
How old are you and your bf?
alvos_fml 2
if he thought he was bleeding out he was not wearing protection... very dangerous for a guy that's so clueless about sex ed... happy parenting!
phoneaddict13 29
**** him hard in his sleep! Give him a bj c'mon you can suck that ****!
Edward_Jan 2
Was he traumatized?! XD ROFL!!!!!