Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
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Top comments
beezerbnt00 4
Pretty sure that's illegal....
Rodders_SOTC 1
It will only get worse, get rid.
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Comments (187)
courtz94 24
Your boyfriend sounds like he's severely paranoid.
bimonthly 4
The the accusations come from guilt. The guilt comes from his own cheating.
GK2012 9
I wouldn't equate being clingy with cheating behavior, but it's not uncommon for someone who accuses their significant other of infidelity to be guilty of the same behavior. Either that or the person just has emotional/psychological issues, ie. clinginess, insecurity, paranoia.
Ibeatmyself 3
remember to keep ur hands up to protect ur face cause he just gonna get worst
erinchick1 7
Trust me it will only get worse you're better off losing him! I went through this with my ex I was unable to walk 3 feet from my front door to get the mail without coming back and being accused of sleeping with everyone and anyone
doby199 6
Ppl this suspicious r usually the ones cheating
karen1991 15
It's normally the one chatting that gets Parrinoyed about the other
DocBastard 40
Parrinoyed? Really? Try "paranoid".
zandalee 20
Sounds like an annoyed paranah
br0ccoli 15
There's a vaccine for that.
Threnody666 19
Usually when they act like that they are cheating on you. Dump the loser and find someone not so psycho
tashapasha 11
You need a different bf ASAP