Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
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Top comments
beezerbnt00 4
Pretty sure that's illegal....
Rodders_SOTC 1
It will only get worse, get rid.
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Comments (187)
sweetmama88 6
Maybe in your fool around with the fd
gizmo62_fml 1
time to get a new boyfriend
sweetmama88 6
Omg , Maybe if you fool around with the road maybe he will turn into a hot prince! And you can live happily ever after .
adorablecanuck 4
considering what happened to jeremiah- id recommended not ******* any amphibians on the road (or in general)
sweetmama88 6
I was just a freakin joke ! Omg
Levvy 22
I remember Jeremiah. Never understood a single word he said, but he always had some mighty fine wine.
vantz 4
I hate to be presumptive, but someone that paranoid is probably either a cheater or someone who has cheated before. They think, "Well, I did it, why wouldn't she?" If he really can't trust you that much, he probably doesn't deserve the trust himself.
ASEELUJ_ 3
leaveee him !
Zangetsu67 5
The toad could turn out to be a prince
SmS1291 5
Trust is everything in the relationship. If he doesn't trust you enough and thinks your cheating on him. Then dump him. Dump him for someone you know who can trust you
gotmilkchick 1
Jesus is a weird name for a toad.
TREEBISCUIT 3
At least you have a boyfriend that frickin' cares about you. It means that you must be neglecting him in some other way for him to think you don't want him and are cheating on him.
GK2012 9
it's not caring if he's accusing her of irrational behavior and constantly putting her on the defensive to respond to his suspicions.
chey296927413 3
She's not to blame here. Men who are that ****** up in the head normally start being abusive. My dad use to do shit like this. They think differently than a normal person and can actually rationalize everything they say and do. So, obviously, the other person is always wrong. Being that possessive is not caring, it's showing that in the future he will feel like he "owns" her. People should not be treated like objects.
CharmedNDangerus 4
He is either really insecure, or he has a guilty conscience from cheating on you. Either way, I'd get out now if I was you.