Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
onebadsummer 0
You're dating a furry.
DogmaT_fml 4
well maybe you are supposed to find his nuts and then find a hole for them somewhere
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Comments (169)
Jestress 0
I'm... sorry, but... your boyfriend seems like a ********** creeper... Oh well. People can't help what attracts and arouses them.
somuchjustice 0
Homophobe rage + Homophobephobe (people who hate/fear homphobes) rage + bad nuts jokes + comments on furry gay rape = /suicide.
banemask 14
What?
hypergrafia 1
Hahah! Many people say how there should be a "Not a FML" button. Well I think there should also be a "This is totally awesome" button, exactly for cases like this one. I think you should do it. You never know, it might be hot.
Bullshot 0
I gues he is a Furry then :P Google define it
thesnazdotcom 0
I want to dress up like a doberman and chase your boyfriend.
KeriRox407 0
Hmm yeah awkward...but...I couldn't help chuckling...
Charz 0
Wow..he must be into *********** or something.. Lol
jeterman67 0
omg that would scare the hell out if me if i was a girl
mike72_fml 0
He is trying to infect you with SQUAIDS.
lezzigrl13 0
it is nice to see someone else who is willing to admit to being gay on here. its been a while...