Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
onebadsummer 0
You're dating a furry.
DogmaT_fml 4
well maybe you are supposed to find his nuts and then find a hole for them somewhere
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Comments (169)
Sekococo 0
awww you got your self a furry buddy.
Sekococo 0
Hey OP how many nuts can you hold in your mouth ? Lets see 1....2...O.O
spellbound 0
well.. atleast give him credit for trying ;)
GrapefruitZoe 0
Or, you know, My Awkward Love Life.
alex_vik 1
A gay furry? There's something shocking. /sarcasm
alex_vik 1
What the hell? Why was that moderated? I was mocking furries, not gays!
Vehicle 1
Hahahhaha your boyfriend is at least creative. I have a squirrel costume if you wanna borrow.
Iniit_Bladz 0
I lol-ed so much at this, at the off chance the OP might have made a mistake when posting, and could be a actually be a woman :L But to all the abusive homophobes - get a ******* life, you dickheads - please note, if you're a guy and hoping someday to get laid, give up the homophobia, because I have yet to meet a girl who doesn't love gay guys. It's making a big assumption, I know, and I'm not being sexist, it's just my experience - but it's true, I've never met a homophobic girl. So, guys, take note - homophobia doesn't impress girls, and it doesn't impress any civil guys that might be unfortunate enough to be your friends. Homophobia is ignorant and narrow minded, and if you had more than 3 brain cells you'd wake the **** up and see what a prejudiced person you are. Hope you're really ******* proud. The only homophobe I know is a guy I hang out with, and he has a genuine phobia of same sex couples (the same idea as arachnaphobia - sorry if I spelt that wrong), girls or guys, flings or life long partners. He was born with it, he can't help it, it's completely irrational and yet I've NEVER heard him say a word against gay couples. He just puts up with it. Why do people have to be such ******* assholes?
kmvedok 0
I love you.
tiancai 0
Just because you live in a degenerate western country where homosexuality is promoted by the media (which is the main reason why the gullible females you mentioned approve of it) doesn't mean it's the case for all of us. Thankfully where I live, most girls (and people in general) are utterly disgusted by the idea of homosexuality.
tiancai 0
Those things are irrelevant, and your country will become devoid of them soon enough, just you watch ;)
tiancai 0
What's so ridiculous, your people are so dumb that to take away their so called "freedoms" would be a piece of cake. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tznR4wPeS4M
soamazinxoxoc 0
Iniit_Bladz, you are my hero.
Velaur 0
#89 is butthurt from anti-furry comments.
tiancai 0
liberalism = dumbness & weakness
israelnotjacob 20
YDI for being gay.
blazingman311 1
Whats wrong with being a squirrel? You like nuts, right?
kmvedok 0
this should be a MLIA :)