Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
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Top comments
clueless05 12
How could you not know that a positive result to a cancer test is bad?
CeCe184 17
F*** your life? F*** his life, now he sadly has cancer.
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Comments (193)
onemorehuman 3
I know OP meant no harm, but when inthe medical field when you take a test does positive mean you don't have something? Positive pregnancy test equals yes baby. Positive HIV test means yes HIV. Positive drug test equals yes drugs. I thought this was pretty obvious. Sorry OP for your stupidity.
Showlife16 5
You dumbass.
llama612 27
Wow you sir are an idiot seriously how could you not know? I highly doubt your boss would have said it in a happy tone so that should have been your first clue that it wasn't a good sign.
ironheart98 14
thats rude. most tests on positive means you got it, pregnancy for example.
devore504 7
the op should be fired cause if anybody over the age of 12 thinks that could be a good thing is to stupid to hold a job. the op is a stupid retard
gracehi 33
Pretty harsh coming from someone who can't write a coherent sentence.
MexicanGinger 5
You are cancer aladeen
Manj3rico 3
I don't think he should be fired... Just made fun of for as long as he works there, for being so insensitive (and obviously DUMB!!)
lhamil64_fml 5
I have a feeling that the boss probably corrected him, so it probably wasn't too awkward. It wasn't like the OP was purposely saying "Woo! You have cancer! Congratulations!" it was just a misunderstanding.
lambda_fml 40
B Positive OP :-)
Dracoboxer357 36
103- If your advice wasn't so Puny, I almost thought you were just randomly advertising your blood type. ;) *Tease*
fridatuva 2
This should be written by the roommate who says "I actually live with this idiot"