Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
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Top comments
clueless05 12
How could you not know that a positive result to a cancer test is bad?
CeCe184 17
F*** your life? F*** his life, now he sadly has cancer.
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Comments (193)
skyeyez9 25
If the cancer was detected in its early stage, it is very curable. So maybe your boss will be fine. He may need surgery to remove the mass and possibly chemo to cover any spots surgery missed and be fine.
skyeyez9 25
This reminds me of the movie "Dictator" where Sasha Cohen's character changed a bunch of words in his country to "Aladeen" (his last name). Doctor: "Muhammed, your cancer results are aladeen." Muhammed: O.O. But is that good or bad? Doctor: it means its aladeen.
musicluvr2000 11
61- ... *facepalm*
alwayswinning123 7
Wow your dumb....
skyeyez9 25
It is spelled "you're" a contraction of You and Are. "Your" shows ownership. Dumb ass.
LordVader789 3
Wow calm down it is not a big deal
skyeyez9 25
I just found it ironic that this person ridiculed OP and called him dumb, when he can't even use proper grammar.
LordVader789 3
I said that because people are focusing too much on spelling errors than the real issue. Just saying
nina21194 12
How did you not know that???
slug6 4
I went on a double date with my best friend. The guy she set me up with ended up hooking up with her and her now Ex boyfriend sat there crying... I walked home. Im still Confused.
Alecksander 4
Who the **** asked?
Dracoboxer357 36
149- Hmm. Couldn't get it accepted as an FML so you said screw it, I'll just post it up somewhere anyhow so Someone will read it? ;) Nice.
alexlovescandy 3
God your a idiot.!
Dracoboxer357 36
150- I'm not normally a grammar nazi here....But Holy Shit. :p In four lousy words, you somehow fit in 3 mistakes? God your a idiot? Try, "God, you're an idiot." The irony of your statement is kicking me in the balls here. :p
Dracoboxer357 36
^ Think I'm going to go kick Myself in the balls after irony is done with me: In correcting your 3 mistakes, I missed the 4th one: Period, than an exclamation mark? :p *Decides he'll leave the grammar correcting to the professionals, and takes his seat in the corner with his dunce cap on.*
katie887 2
C'mon, that makes you dumb not FML. The test came out positive for cancer, just like a test comes out positive or a pregnant female and negative for one who is not.
fsanchez9x 0
So how is your boss gonna be celebrating the fact he has cancer?
awesomesauce924 3
no shit sherlock its a bad thing!