Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
Hacksaw 4
Turn in your penis and get out; you are a man no longer.
jloveee 0
hahaha your sister is awesome :)
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Comments (159)
Hacksaw 4
Turn in your penis and get out; you are a man no longer.
powersmoke 0
Turn in your man card, you tranny.
hat_fml 0
you just got pwned by your little sister... you must surrender your man card to her :P
alexandraa_fml 0
His name is Old Greg.. have you seen my Baileys?
KumoFF7 3
Well depending on the temperature of the water, your equipment can get pretty small in there.
PeopleRSoDumb 0
Way to get scared by a cricket, you sally. Atleast your sister's wicked smart on an insult
Dingan 0
Go get your man-card back from your sister, right now. You know what must be done.
katsuku 5
If you meant what I'm thinking I laughed very hard 61 :) Then I was a little grossed out, but still continued laughing.
silverfox22000 0
No, we don't want him either. He's too much of a wuss.
JohnnyHobo 0
yay
jloveee 0
hahaha your sister is awesome :)
mom0_fml 0
can I marry her?
MrMaD_fml 2
lmao #1, good shit. Seriously tho, way to scar you little sister for life.
padlarf 14
Oh no, she saw her brothers balls. Oh shock, oh horror!
MrMaD_fml 2
have some decency. There's some things little girls just shouldn't be seeing. (pedo, lol)
padlarf 14
You Americans and your overreacting :')
Rhad 0
you ignorant people and your stereotyping...
MrMaD_fml 2
so should we develop a care-free attitude like most of the other countries out there and promote sweat-shops, underage prostitution, constant CP filesharing, and human trafficking? ..or am I just over-reacting..
padlarf 14
Oh yes, that's exactly what'll happen if someones sister sees their balls...
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Who the f*** said it was a little girl??? For all we know, he's 23 and the chick 22. She'll still be his "little sister" when they're both 80-something-years-old, genius!! Sickos obsessed about "everything is pedo!!" need to pull their head out of their arse and wake up to the fact not everybody in the freaking world is underage.
MrMaD_fml 2
ah, go look at ur sister naked, perv.
sosadrightnow 4
if i saw my brothers balls (at any age) you have no idea how badly i would freak out. I would probably never look at him, have nightmares, and throw up.
teiso_fml 0
Pff, I've seen my brother's balls. I used to have to share a bath with him when we were little kids, and my sister, too. Of course, he was only a little bit older than me. I haven't seen them since he hit puberty and I have no desire to.
TheButler 0
Little sister knows about the humourin dick-size there fore she's probably at least 12 and has had sexual education she could be 15 -.- so ur just being naive .
Croco83 7
Scar her? Dude, she totally pwned him for it...that's not scarring her, that's Win for her.
sexkitten129 3
um mrmad we do those things not in our country but in those other carefree countries. who do you think pays for all those underage prostitutes? not the people in the "carefree" countries they couldn't afford it.
writergirl23 19
And I'm sick of the whole "Americans are better than everyone else" attitude. If anyone comments negatively to this it'll just cement it. And yes, you do have the attitude. Just because I wasn't born in America and have never been there does not mean I am not as good as you. At least New Zealanders aren't known for their arrogance in other countries like America is.
LostCosmo 5
USA USA USA!!!
null_fml 11
Interestingly enough, until I read the word "balls" I did automatically assume the OP was a woman.
Piklink 0
Yeah, me too. XD
crazytoaster 2
^^ That's because the OP isn't a man, but a ******* bitch. Seriously? A ******* cricket? Smash it with your hands and eat it you goddamn pussy!
snickerz01 0
same
sexypimpdaddy 0
I agree with #4
spedroza 0
Yeah, me too!!! :)
zen4681 8
I think everyone did.
Katface 0
That's hilarious.
iamazombie 0
she had a point
YayAmerica 0
It's a bit odd that she looked directly at your balls.
MrMaD_fml 2
I also thought ..(s)he was a woman.
programme 0
Owned.
Feverrotes 15
lol you're sister is so totally awesome.