Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML
Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, during our office Secret Santa gift exchange, I unwrapped my gift to find a mug that says, "World’s Okayest Employee." Everyone laughed. My boss added, "Well, it’s accurate." FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Soninuva 41
That's a prank that could have serious repercussions. I hope you have a long talk with your dad.
barisozdemir 24
that's a terrible joke. especially these days..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
Soninuva 41
That's a prank that could have serious repercussions. I hope you have a long talk with your dad.
OSMC 10
simple solution, return the mentally damaged father to god and get a replacement.
SweetasCandy0609 28
ya #36 because murdering your dad and then"replacing" him is the best option in this case.
MariaGiovanni 25
#36 wtf?! that's your solution for a prank?! It was a shitty practice know yeah but no one got hurt. How does that warrant his death?!
MariaGiovanni 25
*prank not "practice know"
Stiggy626 25
a bottle of water is such a great gift
Queen_bee1234 21
Your dad sounds awesome!
blahblah005 16
your dads a douche sorry OP
barisozdemir 24
that's a terrible joke. especially these days..
Niz_DD 14
Agreed. If that happened to me, I'd most likely get reported to the authorities instead. Also I have to say though I remember a lot people cracking about ebola jokes, and not many people cared about how insensitive it was to joke about it at the time.
idk_rose 25
I don't know if you dad wins at pranks or if he's an asshole.
dolphinlvr7 24
He's an asshole. Isis shouldn't be turned into one of the many serious things people end up joking about
9a_1z 12
Well personally I think ISIS deserve all the mocking and joking and ridiculing we can throw at them. They want us to loose our sense of humour about things and they want us to take them and their cause so very seriously.
luther48 20
Yeah! Stick to Nazi jokes.
DoomedGemini 38
Mocking is one thing, writing "I support ISIS" or something along the lines on people's things is too far in my opinion. You aren't joking about ISIS then, you are risking someone's reputation and safety.
9a_1z 12
I agree, like a lot of things there's a time and a place for these jokes, when other people who aren't in on the joke can see it its a problem.
ezrocks4u 29
Just write the same on your dad's underside, then his boss will have to say the same.
RodzillaX 30
Buy a #1 Dad mug, and write something clever underneath as well.
howneatisthat 10
I'm not sure if "I support ISIS" was very clever in the first place.
MrSassypants 34
The number 1 dad mug should have "number 2 dad" written underneath it. No need to thank me, I'm a genius, and it only took me like an hour to come up with that.
kirkaygri 18
"Runner-Up" it should say that on the bottom.
Chloe555_fml 27
Better call Kenny Loggins 'cuz you're in the Danger Zone!
wolf12king 12
Reading that comment like Archer would say it
Colon_Man 17
Lana would like to shake your hand... with her giant meat hooks.
BeenIt 5
That's not funny.
Silk_Routes 14
this may lead trouble