Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was texting while riding my bike (yes, I know, terrible idea). I crashed right into a lamppost, and, even worse, a woman walking by laughed and asked, "Did you just text yourself into that pole?" I just laid there hoping for the ground to swallow me up. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Is tequila your name or were you pedaling under the influence?
MrSassypants 34
hopefully wearing your helmet. There I finished your sentence.
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Comments (93)
payableondeath 0
datz f'd up
TiffanyMarie1240 4
ouch! sorry for you...that guy is a stupid!
darkness4dummies 0
lol thats like when a persons crying and somebody walks up to them and asks are you sad? **** YEAH IM SAD IM CRYING YOU DUMBSHIT
Thoagland94 0
walk it off!
kristylew03 1
People say the dumbest things.
susie_spiff 0
be considerate of the sidewalk! show some respect!
ChiddyBANGr 13
Anyone else pronounce 'torpedoing' as 'torp-doing' when you first read it??
metallicaklr 0
oh wow im not the only one woo!
Skatejock21 0
well... did you get hurt? if you didn't, than why make a big deal out of it. I've broken my arm falling out of bed... so I don't know why you're complaining.
faryn 2
i did the same thing a couple of weeks ago chipped my front tooth in half. only difference nobody was anywhere near and i had to limp while carrying my bike the rest of the way home.
Skatejock21 0
I broke my arm falling out of bed and face planted at the same time. Yeah, face planting the ground hurts; I ran into a pole on my bike when I was 9 and fell on the ground, but it's nothing to complain about. No pain no game! Now you have a cool story to tell!! If I did what you did, I'd consider it another accomplishment in my life! - - and if you didn't get hurt, than be happy about it. They at least didn't laugh at you.
larisonr 4
OP, I hope you like Mario, cause you've just been 1-upped
kimmiegirl10 0
just so ya know it's "no pain no gain".
Skatejock21 0
they mean the same thing. that's not how it was in my way