Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
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Top comments
androiddestroya 7
you have a pet pig!? lucky!!!!! :D
moonlight970 0
You need to tell her. The sooner the better.
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Comments (111)
not_cool808 14
im 1st yay!!
SnowFlakeInAK 7
You're an idiot. Waits for a mod to see the post
moonlight970 0
You need to tell her. The sooner the better.
brotastic 0
Kill it with fire!
Iamnotmyself 17
-2 give he bacon and tell her it's of your big, the flowers shall live on through the bacon.
IndiRae 9
300 dollars doesn't seem worth three years of a persons life. Especially considering they most likely spent a hell of a lot more than that on the garden in those years.
ninjaniki 0
Sounds like your pig is *puts on sunglasses* gonna be bacon.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Man up and stop being a Pansy
Iamnotmyself 17
-2 I'm going to remake my comment, Buy bacon and tell her that it is your pig, the flowers will live on through the bacon.
IndiRae 9
40- That first comment was pretty derpy. But I now understand. Thank you for the clarification.
jillianmathers12 13
Just give her $300 it isn't that much! You could probably sell your pig for more then that!
Iamnotmyself 17
-42 As a wise man once said "I prayed to the moderating gods, but they did not answer"
DropDead77 11
What a pig!
Jaimegirl 7
3 years of work for one competition that will award you only $300??... Also how would she not realize that her garden is already destroyed by now? haha
EnEl_Infierno 15
Drinking till I look pretty which will take ALOT lol. And Ydi op for letting your pig to be such a pig.
tylersign 11
70- it's time for you to be quiet.
Slim2306 10
looks like spiderpig got in and out quick and even had time to grab a quick lunch... turns out he does have powers ;)
sweetandsexy 0
"what a pig!" hahaha
EnEl_Infierno 15
Lol 97 I wish it was within in my power, "but me nots drunk as u think I am" =P but i thought that was pretty funny.
wintamint101 7
just tell her racoons ate it or something
moodyreallyrocks 27
Agreed!
kittykat1501 31
56 exactly what I was thinking.
androiddestroya 7
you have a pet pig!? lucky!!!!! :D
josebeto1 6
Not in this case
faithxoxox 1
I don't understand how this is OP's FML. it sounds more like it should say Today, my asshole neighbor's pig ate my flower garden. I've been growing it for three years and was going to bring judges over in two days, hoping to win $300. FML
josebeto1 6
Then again OP might have to pay $300. Or atleast something for destroying his neighbors work and time.
aFatFuck 0
If you have enough money to raise a pot belly pig hopefully you have enough to reimburse your neighbor 300 dollars.
josebeto1 6
^OP should have nothing to worry about then?
danishbagel 3
Having a pet pig in your house is like washing and feeding a plate of bacon.
WOGBRO 6
Give her a week or so worth of bacon.
katt_is_here 24
No, not lucky. Pigs are JERKS! My best friend has one. If you are in the house long enough, the pig starts to challenge you for dominance by following you around, rooting you with its snout and biting at your toes. The only way to make it leave you alone is to straddle it and press it down a little. This makes the pig scream out in a murderous, high pitched squeal from the bowels of hell. You have to do this until you can pet it and calm it down. It doesn't hurt the pig to do it, but it will hurt your ears A LOT. After getting to know this animal, I understand why policemen and politicians are called "pigs."
liy223 6
Look on the bright side. Op has got to be the first person ever in FML history to begin a story with the words "today my potbellied pig..."
ericwashere 0
Tell her and be ******* happy you got a pet pig!!! So jealus right now
paprikacha 9
The pig starts to challenge you for dominance. The PIG starts to challenge YOU, the person who probably ate its mother and father for breakfast that morning, for dominance. This reminds me of my chihuahuas running at Rottweilers like there's any other way this situation could go down. XD Also, any pig that challenges me in my own f*cking house is going between two slices of bread for breakfast. o_o
paprikacha 9
Eh...not really. I love animals, even the ones that suck. But Wilbur's gonna be living in the backyard.
bryannab1 0
Whats wrong with policemen?
katt_is_here 24
It's my friend's pig. I would never be so STUPID as to own a pig as a pet.
shorty6823 28
It all depends on the pig. I've had 3. Because they are males who are not neutered, yeah, they'll be territorial and shoe dominance. However, they are nor mean and they would never aim to hurt anyone. One of them, Mu, only shows dominance to the other pig, Olliver, because Ollie is a new pig and Mu is "king of the pig pen." Pigs are not house pets. They like mud and fresh grass.
ariomario2 0
Tell her sooner rather than later! Or it will be much worse...
qyka 5
Ya. But really more like f her life :{
bluetiger105 0
I would go for the dick move here and not tell her. Unless you have a spare 300$ around to give as an apology.
JPLovesAnimals 4
No. Because what if she wouldn't have won anyway.
sxe_beast 11
But the right thing would be to give her the 300 dollars. Who cares if they wouldn't have won? All that effort put into it and the OP's lack of control over their pet... Just cough up the 300 dollars. Its not that much and the least the OP can do.
Prankster7o7 5
$300 is kinda a lot in today's economy, you know I could get at least 3 tanks of fuel for that much. :/
sxe_beast 11
I can get like 5 tanks on $300 :D!
androiddestroya 7
prius? :O
bankrupt 15
Yes 123, you are absolutely right. If the OP can't control his or her animal, then the OP should pay up. Really, OP, what an asshole move to not tell your neighbor that your unattended animal trashed her property. This is exactly WHY I hate pets. The person who owns the animal and the person who gets stuck putting up with the animal's shitty behavior are never the same person.
sxe_beast 11
No, I was wrong I can get like nearly 4 tanks of gas on $300 (like 3.75). So I was wrong. I completely fail at math :(!. My SUV is a gas guzzling beast. I should have gotten a Prius, lol.
pita2423 10
I agree, or just have ur pet stay at someone's house until it all blows over. and tell her it died a few days ago before the event happened and then say u got a new one.
Skoff_fml 27
doesn't matter whether she would win, she now has zero chance due to OP not securing their pig. Replacing all of the plants will probably cost about that much.
ollie179 21
Her flower garden is the perfect place to bury her...
trizz 0
Your pick is really fitting for this FML
trizz 0
pic*
Brool_Story_Co 17
Sounds like you are going to owe her $300
purpleamandapand 6
Sounds like the pig is going to owe her $300.
techweed 12
Why the hell do you have a pig??? Do you like Rooney that much? (thumbs up if you got that)
not_cool808 14
bacon!!
regsworld11 2
Thumbs down because your comment is stupid.
IndiRae 9
Thumbs down because you seem like a bitch. But so do I. So. Eh, **** it.
regsworld11 2
My comment wasn't meant for this one, sorry, I don't know why it is on this comment.
regsworld11 2
Damn that sucks, best to tell her soon! I love pigs by the way(:
BoredUnicorn 6
Your screwed.
aguin8 0
you're*
BooGhosted 0
You're both now screwed by the readers of FML and their power to thumb up or down.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ Thumbed down
BooGhosted 0
Damn, I got myself.
aguin8 0
73 fail
BoredUnicorn 6
So many haters.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Criticism is a necessity
not_cool808 14
your pretty
androiddestroya 7
thumb me down too :D
BooGhosted 0
It's a sad day when only the Nazi gets thumbs up :