Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
graveworm 0
she's 5 and your how old? how can she make you do anything? get a grip.
PityFool 0
I don't know what to think, here. Either that's love, or that's just demeaning. This could be the first time she learns about loss, if you stop right now.
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Comments (147)
Satans_Taint 0
sick sick sick .. reason # 111 why I don't want kids
normandin131 0
Well did you find it?
Poonheart 0
YDI for being a **** with a poop fetish
SookMauNoots 0
how can a 5 year old MAKE you do that. pansy
letitbe56 0
There are some things that you not only CAN, but SHOULD say no to.
mycatissoft 0
I should stop reading FMLs at breakfast... (see booger finger story)... Beurkkk.
bookworm124 0
That's love for you. I think it's very valient of you. BUT The same thing happened to me when I was little. My parents told me that "the tooth fairy knew when you lose a tooth and all you need to do is write a letter to her explaining what happened." Part of being a parent is being creative.
pog0_fml 0
YDI for lying to your kid
save_me_08 0
Why didn't you just tell her to like sleep with a pillow over her stomach? It's the same basic principle.
null_fml 11
Kids have active imaginations. I can see that ending badly - with the child having nightmares of the tooth fairy cutting her stomach open. Good idea though.
littlegoldwoman 0
Damn your stupid. Give her 10 dollars ans take her to buy a toy and she will forget. I cnat belive you have a tooth fairy that will even take a tooth that was covered in shit. You and your tooth fairy are DUMB!