Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
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Top comments
MadaZer0 8
Hey at least your liked.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
That's why I like you around, too :) *Steals chicken wing from underneath OP's fat rolls.*
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Comments (95)
MadaZer0 8
Hey at least your liked.
mollymaykitty 0
ha. you beat me to saying that.
Joey3000215 0
I don't see wats ring with chicken and being squishy
beastlydevon 0
I'm black. watermelon taste like water. so I don't get how its that great. I hate frgrape soda. KFC taste like shit except for mashpotatoes, grilled chicken and popcorn chicken, I can swim fine, and I would suggest you not say that word unless your black. if you not I'll show you moi tai
WHSKitty 7
Wtf? You have problems!
CallMeHush 1
Please say you didn't offer a taste.
Laurendorcus 0
Im really sorry for this, but its kinda funny. I read this FML to my brother and he instantly said, "are they black?"
carteran06 0
smh assumptions
janiekaykes 0
that's hilarious!
zwilli3 0
Eh, we probally will still eat things like chicken and beef in the future anyway. Also, why does the smell of fried chicken make you nauseated?
ilovebradiew 0
beat me to the punch ! D;
MermaidSongXOXO 6
That's why I like you around, too :) *Steals chicken wing from underneath OP's fat rolls.*
crackiebob 0
hey see if you can find me a leg on there.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Kriptonite, what the hell do you think you're doing with my chicken?! D:
Ashle1gh 14
She must be one of the pedos that were successfully moved to Uranus.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
I'm not a pedo, I'm 13 :P
MadaZer0 8
She looks so cute~ I could just hug her and squish her until she dies. And even after that I'll still continue to hug her motionless body XP
MermaidSongXOXO 6
O_o
MadaZer0 8
:D
MadaZer0 8
... As do I?
SomeonesGoneDie 0
Awesome that means ur in my league..... so.... what's ur number? ;)
Ajjas013 6
@ #29 that's really creepy O____O
deathcab7 0
@85. i agree with you thinking 29's post was disturbing. I would also be scared to be mermaid for the fact that she might get squeeezed to death. :/
MadaZer0 8
My hugs aren't deadly... They're filled with love... oh... I guess they are deadly~
CallMeHush 1
Nice pic Snick.
MaRs3 0
if hour not loud and annoying beastly, then your my favorite black person ever. ;)
MadaZer0 8
LOL, people really love replying to anything Snicker post huh... Oh I'm posting too XD