Lickmebaby
Enfield, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
girlmeetsworld
United States
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Braelynn
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
D:
Paris, France
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
babybreath
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Catch!
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Los Angeles, United States
Rising Damp
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
beya
Canada
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
sigsigsignify
Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML
MommyProblems
United States
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
sheridan.ashley
Australia
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Top comments
JuliaaNoelle 26
The name you chose for this is quite disturbing
WinterChild 20
I can't even imagine how awkward that would have been.. Although it will make for a pretty funny story in a few years; assuming it doesn't keep happening that is.
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Comments (11)
jebron 13
What was so tasty on your hand?
xoxoblondee 31
would it have been better if it was only some of it???
jcash52426 5
Is your cousin part cat?
WinterChild 20
I can't even imagine how awkward that would have been.. Although it will make for a pretty funny story in a few years; assuming it doesn't keep happening that is.
JuliaaNoelle 26
The name you chose for this is quite disturbing
LyricaSilvan 30
I was tempted to just say "he's eight. Eight-year-olds are weird." But that's a bit odd even for most small children in general.
sirdannyboy1 20
What do you mean by ALL of it? does that mean something dirty, or what?
Internetflakes 13
You can lead a child to your hand but you can't make him lick.
ReaperofSouls42 2
Hope you didn't ********** using that hand.
ReaperofSouls42 2
Hope you didn't ********** using that hand.