Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
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Top comments
MadaZer0 8
Hey at least your liked.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
That's why I like you around, too :) *Steals chicken wing from underneath OP's fat rolls.*
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Comments (95)
HanaxD 0
It was supposed to say chicken, not checked. o_o
Rickymonkeypants 0
not that many black jokes....WHY?!?!?
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Because most of us aren't racist bastards.
SomeonesGoneDie 0
ZING
SomeonesGoneDie 0
bahaaha I was gonna say that! ah, funny stuff :D
kaydee085 0
lol she's just a kid ...
love2bu 0
well.....at least it wasnt.....you look like her favorite animal "the hippo" and you smell like a petting zoo..
onnielief 4
seems to me that you are slightly overweight caused by eating to much fried chicken, just an assumption though
Maddoctor 10
I wonder if Perdix knows you exist...and if people will mistake one for the other. I don't really see that happening though, since you two have very different commentary.
Eddie_Paints 0
Muy Tai.
asdfghjkl14 0
damn that's ****** up
ilikeyouuu 0
fried chicken scented soap? duhhh