anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
applesmama
United States
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
NooOOooOO
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
WhosGoingToCleanThisUp
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Splosh
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Top comments
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
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Comments (265)
zacthedrile 4
you deserve it... trolllololol
coop51219 0
she probobly learned it from rhony betheny frankel always says it
XxHowToLovexX 2
Haha That'ss Nott Ay FML. Thats A Fuckinqg Winn Att Lyfee. ! I Wouldd Bee Proudd (:
rangertiger 0
this should be on MLA or whatever it's called haha
beastin34 0
epic win
evey661 5
my favorite is shit bags
Kenya72083 0
haha!! kids pick up on what they hear and repeat it. thats just nature. its ur job as a parent to teach her right from wrong so she stops. I admit, I have a potty mouth and the 1 time I heard my daugter say "oh shit!" after she got punished I explained why she was punished. now she says "ooohhhh Mommy, u said a bad word!" or "ur not supposed to say that word." call me a hypocrit, but I haven't caughter her cursing in over 3 yrs and she's going on 7.
mercurieangel 0
that's right! my girls also say "those are bad words mommy says, we can't use them" guess I did better at parenting them my parents did at parenting me! haha
brianasaurusrex 0
hahaha. epicness
smashleighfig 0
YDI, A child learns words from her parents.
mercurieangel 0
not always true. children can learn from anyone including tv,radio,ect. you just have to talk to your kids early on about what is appropriate talk. I admit I have a bad mouth but my almost 8 yr old has only 1 time at 3 yrs old said shit, and I explained to her, that even though I have said it,doesn't mean it's right and that she shouldn't use them. she hasn't said it since.
mariet_fml 23
I went to the store with my niece, someone next to me said "**** bitches!" Guess what my niece started saying? Kids pick up anything they hear at any time, unless you lock them away and never let anyone speak near them.
nomforlife 0
Sounds like something Cartman would say.