anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
applesmama
United States
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
NooOOooOO
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
WhosGoingToCleanThisUp
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Splosh
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Top comments
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
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Comments (265)
carsetius 8
Sucks to be you! Perhaps some needs to take some parent classes
MsMeiriona 2
so explain to her that is not a nice thing to say, not difficult...
PrimeStarscream 30
HAHAHAHA!
AnnaVictoriaMBM 8
lmfao... that's just terrific.
emories_mommy 0
and where did she get it from.? and who's letting her say it?
kingtootinpootin 3
i agrre with you 142
iilovecokee 6
They're just words your kid doesn't understand the meaning of. Kids always seem to finds words that feel good for them to articulate. It doesn't make you any worse of a parent or them any worse of a kid. But once they swear at you personally for the first time, that's when you have to scare the shit balls out of them for doing it. Or you run the risk of having that kid your neighbours, friends, cousins and strangers want to beat for being so damn disrespectful and annoying.
seracy13 0
LMAO when my daughter was 2 she would go around calling random people "douche bag". completely my fault but soo damn funny :D
chelseaaababyyy 17
thats my favorite, too !
NcredibadTay 0
hahaha that was mine to when when that movie you me and Dupree came out.