anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
applesmama
United States
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
NooOOooOO
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
WhosGoingToCleanThisUp
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Splosh
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Top comments
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
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Comments (265)
thelastlucifer 17
bad parenting?
regsworld11 2
Niiiiice, wonder where she learned that phrase from!(;
ItsApril 0
Great parenting for not making sure you or your guests mind their language in front of your child.
Vash_41288 10
very true you have to make sure you and/or guests mind their language also tv on appropriate channels around kids.
gchartier90 0
oh shit balls. who cares kids are going to hear people swearing. big deal. it's people with attitudes like yours that have caused to be so sheltered. which is why all they do is play video games eat chips and get fat.
cc_the_beast 6
I was raised around swearing...but I knew I wasn't allowed to use those words. It's impossible (and possibly damaging) to shelter your child that much...
zakkyzebra 11
how could it be damaging if it's impossible? 0.0 mindddddfuckkkkk
chaoticnh 0
you know it was just a matter of time before she learned the phrase shit balls.
cc_the_beast 6
Yeah. That just happened. Deal with it.
mercurieangel 0
amen to that!
JokerJohn7 0
you dont have to change your lifestyle to accomodate a child
crystalnight 19
.......I thought you did. Unless you're a bad parent.
MackS89 0
You are a HUGE bitch.
dinosaursafety 0
Not that easy. You can't shelter them from everything all the time.
sorryforyou 0
and who taught her that
Tesaatje 12
hahah shit balls
RobynL 0
be thankful for the "shit" in the expression. imagine if it was replaced with some girly word. like bunny balls. or pink balls. or shiny balls. of cute balls. or pretty balls. or nice-smelling balls. or great balls. or play balls. or lip-sticked balls. or even beautiful balls. Now THAT would be an fml.
chaoticnh 0
or cooking balls, cleaning balls, laundry balls, or making-a-sandwich balls, now those are women words hahaha
AmberBri 8
If you think all women do those things for men, you clearly need to grow up because most do not.
TheDrifter 24
I'm sure all the men have noticed. That's why they bring it up, we haven't found an alternate purpose for women who refuse to fill the role they have played in society for over a millennia.
trvt 0
hahaha
LizzieLizz18 4
LOL, Id have her say it over and over until she HATES saying it. :P
MuchDance90s 0
that's actually bloody brilliant!
bananaburger 0
shit happens
360XBOXFTW 0
shit balls happens
dabears4life 0
now honestly, who's fault is it?
radioedit 7
hey that's my favorite expression too,"shit balls!!!"