Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
DrHail 22
Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
aleahlioness 15
Found yourself a keeper ;)
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Comments (88)
aleahlioness 15
Found yourself a keeper ;)
Wienerschnitzel_fml 10
I think we can assume that OP's husband is handsome, because she obviously didn't marry him for his brains.
EXOPH 8
#10 he could've been smart and just decided to try something.
skychu 18
#10 or rich, although how someone that silly could get rich is beyond me. Then again, you have to take risks to make big money, maybe his impulsive nature is part of his success
incoherentrmblr 22
Did he at least crack the wood?...
mcm_3 16
#29 Ever seen Forrest Gump? Its quite possible
DrHail 22
Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
gjikvtj 18
And if they roll back into their head, the man might be in the Exorcist
josiemorehouse 12
"And that's the way the cookie crumbles!"
MattM95 16
Ugh I hate your profile picture #21. I thought there was something on my screen.
gjikvtj 18
It's what's on the inside, not the body or appearance or particularily hated profile pictures.
thee_most_dope 30
Why are fmls always funnier when actual names are involved? lol
wastedpenguin 14
Why is anything funnier when it starts off "..What could go wrong.."
AlwaysWatching 27
"What could go wrong..." Famous last words
Jared900DUmpling 30
"What could go wrong?" Usually precedes a tragic accident or a massive amount of stupidity.
MuffinOfSuccess 18
the same applies to "here hold my beer and watch this!"
momac86 17
What could go wrong & we'll figure it out are the two worst phrases ever lol
kierazone 10
agreed.. she really should have checked on him as soon as she heard him say it.
sp4ghetti 9
In a tie with the other famous last words of a moron "Hey guys! Watch this!"
icandothecancan 24
Who the **** is Dan?
fk18 27
I think Dan is OP's husbands name and he was trying to encourage himself to smash his head on the wooden plank
SMHsohard 22
Seriously? Are you sure you didn't try the same stunt at some point in your life?
skychu 18
Plot twist: Dan is OP's Husband's imaginary friend egging him on to do stupid things
ShowMeKay 20
#13 I read it as Dan being OP's husband's friend, who he was trying to convince nothing could go wrong. Before things went wrong lol
Edumcg 24
#5 Obviously OP's husband is SpongeBob with that being said we can imply that the other one is Patrick and he IS Dirty Dan.
Rainhawk94 27
Shit you sound like a jealous controlling girlfriend
1dvs_bstd 41
... is the video on youtube by chance?
graceinsheepwear 34
Instead of giving a karate chop, he became a karate chump.
syki 22
I can't decide whether he's a big ham or a bigger hammer.
katieemerr 15
I'm sure we've all done something reckless without thinking of the repercussions..
91hayek 31
and that kids is how you all got here! Such nice surprises! Or accidents. Meh, semantics.
gmian 34
In this case, reperconcussions! no? okay. I'll go away
Brandi_Faith 34
The funny thing is op's husband apparently tried to think out the repercussions and couldn't find any. "What could go wrong?" Lol
accidentalsheep 24
You should probably start worrying when someone says "What could go wrong"