Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
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Top comments
xShannonxSammyx 7
So... FML I don't have any more spices, or FML my husband can't remember our dead cat's name?
RebornProblem 0
Was he high the entire lifetime of your cat?
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Comments (62)
slitherbomb 0
Dicey, Spicey; WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
Ugi 27
2 points - or 6 on a triple-word-score.
slitherbomb 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What is this I don't even....
pertained 12
yeah, even I have no clue.
cooldukenukem 2
OP should be glad he didn't think the cat's name was wifey.
Mesocoollike 8
R.I.P Spicy, whoever you are
obviousboy 8
It's called words with friends.
kaylapple 1
for scrabble or words with friends.
groundzeromma 8
who names their cat Dicey or Spicy anyways?
dolphincheddar 10
don't diss spicey 49, or I will assign you as his new scratching post. he's my pet sabre tooth liger,
anataliaguerrero 0
epic win^
USMC_FTW 3
1, the difference is a s and p in place of the d, i hope this enlightens you.
edogy2 1
1- Slitherbomb, Shitterbomb, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!?!
RJM_isaBeast 0
YOU DID NOT.
Punkpoptart1119 20
#1: the difference is the letters. You know..spicy is spelled with a 's' and a 'p' is also thrown in there..let us know when you go back to kindergarten to learn how to read..
xShannonxSammyx 7
So... FML I don't have any more spices, or FML my husband can't remember our dead cat's name?
WiderWille 11
Its a 2-in-1 FML. We have recession and must save on everything.
Ugi 27
I think it's "FML - my husband is demented".
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I think it's "FML, we named our cat dices..."
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Dicey*
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Maybe it's just me... But My cat has many different names to everyone surrounding her real name. So it's more than likely he nicknamed it Spicy cuz of it's color/attitude. Just my guess.
X_Codes 11
FYL for your cat dying. YDI for marrying a retard.
RebornProblem 0
Was he high the entire lifetime of your cat?
poisonflower 6
With a name like Dicey they both must've been high.
RebornProblem 0
It's the only logical explanation.
redsfan 4
Maybe op is the crazy one and the cat's name was Spicey.
Gotrees 0
aw. give em a break. their cat just died.
leeshxx 3
must've been one big joint.
CCrunner2 0
Win
rebeldevil 4
do me a favor and explain how this is a win?
Garyy_fml 11
It doesn't win; he wanted to be the first comment.
J1hill33 12
so I guess that means he never really took care if the cat?
lucas002 0
go save the dice before you correct him.
TheMasticater 9
spicy is a much better name anyway.
livlafluv100 2
have his hearing checked.
takanuva0123 0
Spicey Dicey. Dicey Spicy. Slicey and Dicey?
saIty 17
That's just how upset he is. You should leave him in his man cave for a couple days, to regroup himself.
Llamassss 21
Although I think he's taking it a little extreme.. I have a cat named Daisy, but we also call her Biscuit, Busy Bee, etc. So it's not far-fetched for him to have been calling the cat Spicy as well as Dicey.
dani212 0
I have a cat named Daisy too! lol We call her Daisy though >.
SeedlessMe 13
I know this is kind of random, but my dogs name is Lucy, but I call her Goose. --Geese are gonna depress the crap outta me when she's gone.. :(
Llamassss 21
Lol 62, we have so many "pet" names for our Daisy. Also, I used to live in south Jersey but now I'm in Florida. and 72, I had a dog named Lucy but my parents still have her in New Jersey. haha :D
Eggers 2
Next cat: Wifey :(
promarkchris 6
you win, really. it would be harder to live without knives
Spanika87 0
hahahahaha.... love it!!!!