Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I tried to bond with my baby nephew by making funny faces at him. He stared at me like I was the most confusing creature he had ever seen, then burst into tears so loud it scared the dog. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Cg3780byoch 0
a-hole...why would you want to make a 3 year old cry?
skitz 0
haha, looks like he doesn't have to worry about creepers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
librasfolly 0
Man FYL. Children can be cruel and thoughtless buggers. I guess it's safe to say that u won't babysitting for a while. Feel better though!
natpat97 0
I don't blame you -- kids are annoying.
alexgisforme3 0
omg little kids piss me off so bad lol. im sorry about your broken nose, the little one sounds like a badass lol
alexgisforme3 0
im so happy i dont have any little siblings or babies around !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
liedto 0
Yes, they can be annoying, but you're the adult and you have to help teach them what is appropriate and what is not. They absorb everything around them - you just taught that kid it's alright to scare other people. Remember that and learn to say no and be firm about it.
shananigans 0
Why didn't you just get him off your lap and move elsewhere...?
abu3mair 0
not **** your life, **** you
Rstarr 0
its called KARMA.
Arcterion 0
Next time shove the kid off of your lap, yo.
Komatose 0
OMG! U where gonna make a kid cry?!? Ur such a bad person! WAAAAAAH!!! All kids do is cry. Don't you just hate kids? That kid was lucky. I'd have told him to stop and if he didn't, I'd have slapped him (not hard) upside the head.