Anonymous
United States
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
grapes
Westfield, United States
Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
StockedWithJuice
Austin, United States
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
parentfail
United Kingdom
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Anonymous
Start 'em young
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Anonymous
She's not wrong
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
muskogee
Prince Charming
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
eenkoekje
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
madeleine
Gummy
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Anonymous
Akron, United States
Are you winning?
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
jj.
United States
Best teeth in the game
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Kids learn from their parents you know...
pwincessa23 1
you should have told him to swallow it! if he chocked than you can tell him "and that is why you don't swallow grapes"
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Comments (307)
happyfailure 4
guess you did raise a dumbass :D
kduubb 7
you raised him ..
NickyK 25
One word. Think.
pwincessa23 1
about... hahaha jk
Happismiley2010 0
that's actually 3 words
SadinSherman 16
I don't think one word counts in the word count
krysxkatastrophe 14
Is this their first time eating grapes?
LinTurk 4
Exactly what I was thinking!
Livinia 11
Tell him/her that you don't chew or swallow, you suck.
dapredatorx 0
Wow looks like u know how to do it;)
Amherst51 1
your pretty :)
BruisedGiraffe 15
...and swallow
howslife123 0
spit is also an option
SirObvious 1
is it really?
soad4life 2
no. not really
harrywestt 0
rofl. just let him find out from there own mistake, if doesn't know he's screwed. and ya sure it was grapes he was talking about?
kittycatman2 3
Not very well OP. Start over.
allthatremains25 0
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Atleast you accept that.
elyiia 4
To be fair they are a rather confusing fruit.
eeppiicc 8
24, not really
hisgirlherboy 5
I'd your replying to a comment you don't need to put the number you only do that when replying to a... reply
BruisedGiraffe 15
what?
gmc_blossom 21
Good point, 81. :0
redbluegreen 41
It can be if there are seeds and you've never had them before.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
tell him which ever makes him feel better if u know what I mean ;)