Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
bhtooefr 0
If this isn't fake... Try putting your first initial on the resume, instead of your first name. That way, they won't see your gender in your name, and you might get your foot in the door. I've seen it work for other people... (I'm a guy, though, so that trick won't help me. Sucks.)
Jcataquiz 0
I submitted this FML, and if anyone else is wondering, i wasn't making this up and I'm only 18 years old. haha
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Comments (89)
Pastor_Rich 0
but he's living a lie, and you'll eventually get a job
flinkpamingo 0
The best revenge is being there when he gets fired and he can't live up to it. That will teach the little bastard!
caveatlector 0
That sucks, I know people who are complete losers that have probably gone through 3 or 4 jobs this year, and for some reason are still hired right away as soon as they start applying. Then there are other people I know who are nice, smart, make excellent grades, and for some reason had to continuously apply for jobs for almost half a year before finally getting one... if they are even lucky enough to get one... It's rather irritating... :(
naughtypuppy 0
looks like you've been reading throug my mind!
elliekinslurvsya 0
maybe you're just not good in job interviews...
plexico 4
The word got around town that you lifted your resume from some 16-year-old kid. YDI for being too slow. Now, everyone thinks you are only pretending to be you, while the real you is at work earning the big bucks.
doc_who 0
WTF? Are you reading the same FML everyone else is reading? She didn't lift anyone's resume; her 16 year old cousin lifted HER resume. Learn to read.
plexico 4
I did read it! The 16yo lifted the resume from the OP, but it looks like he got it out there right away and got a job. When she finally got around to distributing it, it looked like the kid's, so the OP APPEARED to be the plagiarist. That's what I'm saying.
Jcataquiz 0
he didn't apply to the same places i did.
Dinglenuts 0
Haha, these guys are too dull to realize what's going on.
irishdancer 0
Not really. Maybe she like... Worked at McDonalds and graduated in like... Business or something that could go wither way...
jennam_fml 4
If it's five pages long, that probably means you've gone through alot of jobs. Lets face it, nobody wants to hire somebody who's constantly looking for a new job.
irishdancer 0
Maybe she worked at like... some fast food joint or some store like sports authority and then graduated in something that could go for a boy or a girl.
kidsthesedays123 0
That sucks. It might be about where you've been applying, but honestly, the job he got can't be anything too impressive if they didn't even bother to call any of the references. I know it sounds depressing, but you might have to aim lower... Or if you're applying for the same type of jobs that clearly aren't calling references, lie mercilessly.
Tubasaurus 0
You probably have an unimpressive resume for your age. A 16 year old with your resume is probably very good. Why hire somebody that will expect higher wages, more time off for family, and possibly health benefits when they can hire a young body that will most likely do any work for minimum wage?