Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
bhtooefr 0
If this isn't fake... Try putting your first initial on the resume, instead of your first name. That way, they won't see your gender in your name, and you might get your foot in the door. I've seen it work for other people... (I'm a guy, though, so that trick won't help me. Sucks.)
Jcataquiz 0
I submitted this FML, and if anyone else is wondering, i wasn't making this up and I'm only 18 years old. haha
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Comments (89)
YeTi_MaNN 0
Maybe he does well in interviews?
jaxsk 0
I assume you werent appling for the same kind of jobs then...
Stunt_fml 5
Don't feel too bad OP... assuming you're close to my age, which is 24, we are among the highest in unemployment right now. It'll all go back to normal once this mistake of change is corrected.
synacious 0
#11, I wouldn't hire you either! Keeping a resume to one page is something you learn in high school. Who in their right mind would have a five page resume and expect to get hired?
jgupta86 0
The only thing I find suspicious is, doesnt your resume have any references? Or I guess your cousin just changed those too? But it feels like the information wouldnt jive very well. But a 16yo using an 18yo resume doesnt seem implausible.
made_of_fail 0
I'm sorry OP, that just sucks. I know how you feel - I'm 22 with over 3 years of management experience with excellent references, impeccable customer service and I was handpicked by the district manager of a multimillion dollar company to do the accounting for a few of the locations. I've also sent out my resumé to upward of 30 places. No one's written back and I just applied at a *movie theater*. Don't think I'll hear back from them either. It's one of the worst times in American history to be finding a job, we're all feeling it. Best of luck though!
magicsparrow 0
*sigh* A 5-pg resume is acceptable for someone with a lot of experience -- I'm talking 15+ years of REAL job experience. The resume in this case wouldn't be bulleted "Managed inventory" crap -- we all know that means you stocked candy at the movie theater. A resume that long documents real accomplishments, typically in paragraph form, with examples. 5 pages is a bit long, but if you're applying for a senior management level position, they WANT to know what you've accomplished and what you're capable of. As for the 18-30 range, keep it at 1-2pgs, max. Make sure, if you are a US citizen, to include that near the top if you're applying for a sensitive position (some engineering, administration jobs). For jobs you include, try to think of something you accomplished that stands out. Maybe you suggested a new way to market your products, or increased customer retention rate with new signs or employee-customer recognition (aka, getting your co-workers to remember customer names and be cordial). If you have any kind of statistics or #s to put on there, do it! For high schoolers and recent HS grads, have a short listing of relevant courses to the job for which you're applying. For college kids and recent college grads, include any relevant organizations you were in, your GPA, and important projects. :)
ZuRG_fml 7
A resume is strictly 1 page. If you need to go into that kind of detail, put together a CV.
goodlookinat15 0
people who post long comments are dumb asses
nomo_fml 0
I'm not sure how people think "30" places is enough these days. With the internet and everything, you need to send your resume to 100-200 places to even stand a chance (since that's what other people are doing). There are even services out there that'll spam your resume onto dozens of job listing sites and whatnot. Unless you have connections at a company you're applying to, you're competing against hundreds of other people for a single position.
emzmcgee 0
Your cousin is 16, I'm sure you could get the same type of job that they just got, probably retail or some restaurant. Lower your standards and you'll have a job in no time! :P