Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML
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Top comments
bhtooefr 0
If this isn't fake... Try putting your first initial on the resume, instead of your first name. That way, they won't see your gender in your name, and you might get your foot in the door. I've seen it work for other people... (I'm a guy, though, so that trick won't help me. Sucks.)
Jcataquiz 0
I submitted this FML, and if anyone else is wondering, i wasn't making this up and I'm only 18 years old. haha
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Comments (89)
HeartOfLead 24
Well, you DID end up helping him...
JesseAttack 21
Perhaps your cousin was giving it out to like, fast food restaurants and you were going for pickier choices...
elizacandle 29
This is a shining example of the pratiarchal society we very much live in. You're a woman and he's a man.
cwl727 33
Did he even have all of the same qualifications as you?
Federgirl 19
sheesh that stinks!!!
MrZed_fml 11
You should go to his workplace and tell his boss, that douche dosent deserve a job
ErinShannon 27
It's because he is younger and they don't have to pay him as much.