Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Fly: 1 Son: 0
ImSteve 8
Fail. Everyone makes mistakes though.
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Comments (145)
JJ_V3N0M 19
He went full retard. Never go full retard.
Agtthepw 21
I'm trying to picture the scene. Don't know why but I'm thinking of a crowded terrace over a brunch...
acerredrum 23
I...That is exactly what I was picturing. Please kindly exit my head.
worldclassrager 41
He should carry a fly swagger in his back pocket
creamofwheat 4
#27 - Best typo I've seen.
yesrod 4
Get over yourself. How embarrassed is the kid?
kristenmarie211 2
Right? geez. selfish much
caggybandicoot 34
Is he ok? That's a little worked up to be getting over a fly, that's all I'm thinking.
kasmol 16
Why do I keep picturing the scene from Caddy Shack where they're betting on whether the kid would eat his booger. Probably the same kid here.
interesting33 37
He sounds like he is going through a really hard time. It might be more helpful if you sat him down and asked if he is okay and talked to him about how things are.
Witchylady 18
He needs anger management therapy and a slap from you.
buckdharma 38
Buy a fly swatter, or move to Alaska.
potatoesandbacon 1
I'd date him