Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
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Top comments
SauceySarah 30
Your daughter to her clients: "Looking at the fetus, I'm really feeling a 'Sally' or 'Samantha' vibe radiating off of her. That'll.. That'll be good."
soccerstar1996 18
Welcome to the 21st century
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Comments (106)
himwiththeface 17
this girl's going places....not college, but places
alittlebecause 4
Nope. College is about the only place she will be going.
djPanda 8
How is that a thing
zooliexo 2
We do exist. I wouldn't call myself an expert but there is a community of us that do it as a hobby. Not too many people have it as there sole job
happyfingers 15
So... What exactly does a "baby name expert" do?
alittlebecause 4
Research, authorship, and occasional consultation.
JamesUSMC 6
at least its not a hooker or something worse than that!!!!
gc327072 31
Before he was Keith Stone, he was Charlie Stone.
ulissey_fml 22
If I were her, I 'd use that old trick: ask the happy couple about their top ten favourite movies, and take your pick in the crop..But she shouldn't ask for the one. The parents might end up with North by North- West, and who'd want a name like that.
ViviMage 40
I really don't like names like Krystal, X-Savior, Shenquequa, baldly misspelled names and most celebrity baby names. I won't name my own kid something so You-uniqe, I just won't name my kid that. 4-Real!
piggle 9
What's wrong with Krystal
alittlebecause 4
It is considered a "poor" name because rich, educated people don't typically use it. There are certain names used by parents of lower socioeconomic status, usually in the hope of giving their child something "fine". Tiffany, Crystal, Alexus, Hennessey are all examples of this.
simsgirlgem 25
This is why you wait until you know for sure otherwise you end up looking like an idiot
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Naming people is awesome.