Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
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Top comments
SauceySarah 30
Your daughter to her clients: "Looking at the fetus, I'm really feeling a 'Sally' or 'Samantha' vibe radiating off of her. That'll.. That'll be good."
soccerstar1996 18
Welcome to the 21st century
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Comments (106)
MiMiLove96 10
At least she wants a job? I don't see the problem with it.
Enslaved 38
Unfortunately that could have been useful for "Hashtag's" mom.
Lindz2817 10
I want to be that too! Haha not really but it would be cool.
Epikouros 32
Changing your name for every phase of your life would open up a whole new market for name experts. Plus lawyers, publicists, printers, the post office and online profile transformators. I bet the identity industry will start bribing celebrities to change their name, in order to make it look cool.
ifavela89 13
lol wow you learn something new everyday
IIM_SiCK 6
I cant even imagine the stress that comes with being a baby name expert!
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, My name is Bud Lite Jones, and I approve this drink.
RedPillSucks 33
She has the entrepreneurial spirit. In a capitalistic society, if people will pay for it, and it's not illegal/immoral, create a niche industry and go for it. Also, that doesn't have to be her only job. Lots of people have "real" jobs and do their other low-paying fun stuff on the side.
worldclassrager 41
There's a job for everything and still it's almost impossible to find something...
KingreX32 21
lol "chortled" funny word.