Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
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Top comments
SauceySarah 30
Your daughter to her clients: "Looking at the fetus, I'm really feeling a 'Sally' or 'Samantha' vibe radiating off of her. That'll.. That'll be good."
soccerstar1996 18
Welcome to the 21st century
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Comments (106)
Wakachulak 22
Say what?!
ForkymeetsPorky 15
The job where all your mistakes WILL affect someones life for a long long time. Just hope she isn't going to be influenced by celebrity baby names.
perdix 31
Yeah, but they don't get dental and their 401(k) matching stinks, so keep chortling!
obviousboy 8
Sigh.
evilplatypus 39
I'm not going to lie, I love onomastics (though I have a real job to support non-profitable interests such as this).
alittlebecause 4
Yay I was beginning to think I was the only one!! My reply is #99. I got a little ranty. Lol
olpally 33
It's better then her actually being 16 and pregnant doing this. Look for the Silver lining op.
gracehi 33
Plus 10 "awesome" points to you, OP, for using the word "chortled."
jrock9093 18
Wow what a great job to have very in high demand jk it's dumb hopefully you can steer her in a different direction good luck op
diving_fml 30
there are some crazy jobs out there
saxybandgeek 14
I don't see the problem. If someone is stupid enough to pay you for that, you might as well take advantage of them. Just make sure she has a backup plan
alittlebecause 4
You operate under the assumption that she would only be a consultant. Most onomasticians don't do consultations at all and stick strictly with research and authorship.