Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
Isn't that punishment enough?
ilikebikes7 3
Poor Thomas.
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Comments (321)
fail_gurl21 7
god damn! im 14 and i would never do shit like that!! my generation is so ****** up!!
yungbrittany98 8
I think everyone is being mean. Like its probably not the parents fault and its certainly not the daughters fault that kid is small. Lol. It's her teens let her have fun!
jrtofix 6
Parents involvement? You have your hands full.. Lock that shit down now before she really gets in trouble...
mld4657 28
Worst parenting skills...
yungbrittany98 8
Why would you blame the parents? Like o have awesome parents but I do bad stuff and they. Do t even know. It's not there fault.
Sinkhole 26
227 - Does that bad stuff include your grammar and spelling?
yungbrittany98 8
No! I was really tired last night, but that doesn't defeat my point. In my opinion it is not the parents fault!
raphael1123 13
Stop complaining about the next generation because guess who raised it? Us.
Cat_on_a_Mat 6
You raised a ****. Sad but true.
fmljps 0
Wow..it really sucks to be you right now
Ariana386 3
Not for nothin....but where ya been since she turned 11? If she's been around enough to cry cuz it's small n she faked it, then she been around the way awhile... ijs.
FML_Vex 3
Ohh Danish teens...
mintstashinurtea 5
do the world a favor, don't have anymore kids.