Ann
United States
Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
DCarreon
Ceres, United States
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
Not funny!
United States
Cruel winter
Today, my uncle stole my cousin's phone to take a picture of me. He then sent said picture to my cousin's boyfriend, saying that she'd been cheating on him with me for over a year. He's been cheated on before and is hysterical. My uncle then had the nerve to act all defensive when my cousin and I exploded at him. FML
jake
Denver, United States
Jealousy
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
jakeson12
Dundee, United Kingdom
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
amber
United States
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Anonymous
They hated her because she spoke the truth
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
alissa_roar
United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML
brittbrat4
United States
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Anonymous
Bangor, United Kingdom
No introductions needed
Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML
Anonymous
Don't you know that you're toxic?
Today, I found out my girlfriend talks to around 18 other men for fun. She says she loves me more, but I told her to prove it, so I took her phone and deleted the social media accounts that she made just for these men. Now I'm a "toxic controlling monster" because I don't let her chat with random men. FML
Top comments
faithe92 0
start em off early
Keyman1212 14
I don't look like a pig
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Comments (197)
julianne8174 0
wow that ******* sucks but then again they must have heard it from her mom or something I mean come on you can't really say that and not learn it from somewhere right?! right.
A100893 30
You must have your contacts written down somewhere, or you must know the people well enough to just ask them in person what their number is again.
ashtin85 0
It should say "today my dad could've severly hurt my mom by throwing my computer at her. my dad is a sick freak FML" but instead he is an ungrateful little shit and all he cares about is the condition of a computer. idk about you but family means everything to me. a computer can always be replaced, a family can't.
baybiegurl 3
YDI for leaving your phone laying around.
BangBangz 0
Somewhat EPIC!
superfly09 3
Having only female contacts make you look lesbian
SenorRickles 0
I just read through the comments where you assholishly attacked someone for a lame joke. And you honestly just posted the most dick-loving comment I have ever read. Do everyone a favor get your ******-head technotronic sign out of your asshole, please. I feel sorry for any girl whose phone is plagued with your tool-ass number. Good day.
Fortitudine 3
Well, it's good she found out early!
SenorRickles 0
Wait aren't male pigs boars or something? Or is that something else.... :/
nolifefyl 1
ask them for numbers