Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
It's a doggy dog world
Today, my 13 year-old daughter took our French Bulldog puppy out to pee. She left him out there and went back inside the house. She didn’t know she had to let him back in and thought he would bark at the door when he was done. It’s been two hours and he’s nowhere to be found. FML
Logic 101
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my 8-month-old dog decided to decorate the living room by tearing apart a rented college textbook, the reference guide that went with it, and part of a color therapy book. FML
Heartless swine
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Best gift ever
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Thanks, Walt
Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
I don't remember being that thick headed when I was 11...
LolOrDeath 4
So, was it meant to be?
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Comments (87)
caitlinbblack 14
I don't understand how an 11 year old doesn't put the common sense of that together. I can see a 4 year old doing that but even 4 year olds I know know that's not what you do. ?
samaraperez 7
so did her puppy come back to her
MESammyG 10
What a jerk. -____-
MeLoveCats 7
and you said she's 11? i feel bad for the puppy. hopefully someone found it.
Funnyguyproblems 1
Whoa i would expect this from a 5 year old. But 11?! I was in middle school at eleven.
Wewky 4
Quote by Elsa.
Dr_Jackal 16
I gotta be honest that’s one of the dumbest quotes...