Anonymous
Traralgon, Australia
Best gift ever
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Vanessa
United States
Best gift ever
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Anonymous
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Caqtusmonkey
Arlington, United States
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Facepalmum
Melbourne, Australia
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
Anonymous
Germany
Good boy
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
themanzz
Canada
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
Kate
Exton, United States
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
anonymous
Good boy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Top comments
coius 23
That present is the shit!
RichardPencil 32
If you're going to keep you promise, you're going to have to figure out how to preserve the poop. That shit decomposes fast. Try bronzing it.
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Comments (5)
coius 23
That present is the shit!
RichardPencil 32
If you're going to keep you promise, you're going to have to figure out how to preserve the poop. That shit decomposes fast. Try bronzing it.
mekiswrite 21
That's one present that you don't have to keep.
AmbrosiaFan 19
SO be a parent and explain poop is nasty and that though you love the gift, it needs to be flushed or tossed in the trash. Ask him to draw something for you.
Matthew Irmen 11
Save it then regift it back