Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 13 year-old daughter took our French Bulldog puppy out to pee. She left him out there and went back inside the house. She didn’t know she had to let him back in and thought he would bark at the door when he was done. It’s been two hours and he’s nowhere to be found. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my 8-month-old dog decided to decorate the living room by tearing apart a rented college textbook, the reference guide that went with it, and part of a color therapy book. FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
I don't remember being that thick headed when I was 11...
LolOrDeath 4
So, was it meant to be?
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Comments (87)
laurenlovesjb 20
I don't remember being that thick headed when I was 11...
edris_305 21
She must have possibly read this from twilight :
cottoncandymango 17
You're daughter clearly didn't know any better... I love that quote, too. Sad how she's nearly too dumb of an 11 year old to understand it.
fishstick557 14
25 you're older than an 11 year old and can't tell the difference between you're and your?
threer 30
I agree, but you forgot a comma and two sets of quotes.
drewflav 17
Punctuation and spelling are two different issues. Besides, the comma isn't strictly necessary. It's quotation marks, not quotes. "Quotes" is a verb, not a noun as you chose to use it. As for the argument about "you're" and "your", enough people have pointed it out by now that people should understand the intent. Basically, spell correctly or be shot down by the FML community. If anyone wants to comment on me placing my comma after the quotation mark in the last paragraph you should keep in mind that I'm not American and write proper Queen's English. Enough ranting from me for one night.
ShyAnn29 15
1, you may have been smarter, but not all kids are the same, maybe OPs daughter has some learning disabilities.
CookieLovesBoo 16
I thought this was a fml not a punctuation class . -.-
mmizbbz210 13
Once again, we're having another rant about simple mistakes. *Waits for s13495 to makehis comment toward grammar nazis* @_@
sugarbreeze 5
#62 Don't be so ignorant. I don't like him either but I'm not going to think so low of her just because we don't share the same opinion. People like you disgust me...
iAlissa 34
Wow 66, you're just a real sweetheart, aren't you?
hashshim 23
66: Actually She DID, in fact, mean ignorant, as in lacking knowledge. Not arrogant as in proud or boastful.
Blazinthatshit 9
"I can't believe how many idiots mess that up". Lol, how ironic.
sugarbreeze 5
I'm pretty sure I meant ignorant not aggorant...
baref00tmama 15
Hey, I'm American and I place the comma after the closing quotation mark also.
LolOrDeath 4
So, was it meant to be?
Iceman225 11
Good question. OP?
Tempest559 12
Honestly tell us the puppy is OK!
willson10123 3
Hunh
SilencioIsTheKey 12
Yes, Dear?
Uramonkey 11
Hue Yarr Arghh! Who wins the random noise competition?
FMLbutYDI 17
I wasn't that dumb at 11.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
I was...*hangs head in shame*
nicolegrace8925 9
that was sorta dumb for 11. i would picture more like a 7 year old doing it
dRUMsKELETON 12
I hope you find the new puppy, they tend to get lost following their noses fast :/ Maybe a kitten may have been wiser to let out... But even then.. Best of luck OP!
slooby_fml 25
I feel like tweens are just getting more and more stupid these days
HeartForMusic 23
Aw, well I hope it comes back to you. It'd be really sad to lose it :L
lennelleong 33
Did she also decide to let her grades go too? I hope this was just an atypical brain fart moment. Hope your puppy's micro-chipped?!
GwennaRose 22
Nah, don't even worry about microchips, this is a case for Ace Ventura, Pet Detective!
sillyrosster 11
She'll learn from her mistakes haha
timelessone 16
Birdman attorney at lawwwww.
davincidasecond 24
I have a feeling that it was never meant to be.