Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 13 year-old daughter took our French Bulldog puppy out to pee. She left him out there and went back inside the house. She didn’t know she had to let him back in and thought he would bark at the door when he was done. It’s been two hours and he’s nowhere to be found. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my 8-month-old dog decided to decorate the living room by tearing apart a rented college textbook, the reference guide that went with it, and part of a color therapy book. FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML
Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
I don't remember being that thick headed when I was 11...
LolOrDeath 4
So, was it meant to be?
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Comments (87)
Badkarma4u 17
I'm going to be "that guy" and all fake. Unless mentally challenged an 11 year old is well past that behavior. Next time say shes 5. That would actually be believable. Try a little harder.
brave_josh 9
Sounds like she doesn't understand that these things take time. Trust takes time. Loyalty takes time.
courtz94 24
If you let a dog out the door, it's probably not gonna come back, unless its trained to, and a puppy isn't. She must not have a lot of common sense.
liltwistism 12
#16 c'mon, at least have confidence in your own puns.
SiegeOfTheSiren 9
"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!" {Woof, woof, woof, woof!}
Obey_StudBoii 23
Kids nowadays.
Protagonist_ 9
OP your daughter is showing the first signs of contracting the YOLO virus. There is nothing we can do, i'm sorry...
SilencioIsTheKey 12
At least it wasn't a mountain lion she let go. ( Trailer Park Boys. Bubbles let one go. ) Hope you found it.
worldclassrager 41
Put lost signs out then it's back...it's true...and some quotes are worth not saying...
skyeyez9 25
Please tell me you have your puppy back?