Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
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Top comments
NaturallyUnlucky 0
That isn't sad. It's adorable.
mrhahn530 0
I plan to continue that behavior until i die...
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Comments (153)
xaelgames821 0
not an fyl... you're mature enough to have fun
strongguard 0
don't ever change man. you are one of those wonderful people that make this world fun. theres nothing sad about that. when I'm an "adult" i hope I can have fun like that.
Dallas_fml 0
I don't think thats a bad thing at all, that kind of encourages me that not all adults are complete tools. At least you and your co workers know how to enjoy yourself.
JGun 0
Hey you're having fun! Who the hell cares!
mdh6173 0
Age is but a number...have fun and never grow old at heart.
raNDMGUy 5
haha, you're never too old to play with helium
00754chan 0
where do you work? and are there any positions avaliable?
jasax1 0
my god people, lay off. Just because its not necessarily an FML doesn't mean you have to complain about it. People get on here to read funny things, and feel better. This was funny, and it made a lot of people smile. Don't be bitter because your posts didn't go through. But OP, this was light hearted and funny... a nice change in my opinion.
wbrycem 0
People ... it's FMLs because of their age. The fact that they're all > 43 years old and doing such childish things at work is just not something you do. It's not catastrophic my life is ruined my girlfriend stole my car my parents thought I died my dog ate my foot I set my hair on fire in the BBQ accidently sat on a glass bottle and it shattered in my ass while I was eating steak I cut my tongue out my dvd player electrocuted me and turned my arm black when I was going to watch my favourite movie and my bunkbed broke with my 675 pound roommate on the top bed all in the same day, but it's still fun to read. Ease up a bit, eh?
SunlightVeins 0
Stay young!