Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML
Today, my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. It’s driving me crazy. Only 8 more weeks. FML
Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said, "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turned to me and sead in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML
Today, of all the things I have to be self-conscious about (my looks, my weight, my mental health…), I now have to be self-conscious of my breathing, because my brother says it’s “painful to listen to.” FML
Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WeirdUS 30
Most post people don't run skipping into. their job. However, most also have the good sense not to do keep doing stuff like constantly sighing. It's annoying to deal with someone to deal with someone that is perpetually unhappy and it can kill moral.
404wan 19
How about being a little professional? You're doing a job you get paid for, grow up or quit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
WeirdUS 30
Most post people don't run skipping into. their job. However, most also have the good sense not to do keep doing stuff like constantly sighing. It's annoying to deal with someone to deal with someone that is perpetually unhappy and it can kill moral.
404wan 19
How about being a little professional? You're doing a job you get paid for, grow up or quit.
Zan 16
I hope you find a more fulfilling job.
raven_of_azarath 35
I have a deviated septum, so I sigh a lot since it’s the only way for me to get an adequate amount of oxygen. People often ask me what’s wrong. Like, can I just breathe with what little peace I get?
lizenhagen 11
I dont think she wants you to hold your breath, just the attitude.
Yudith 28
There's a great song in the "Book of Mormon" musical about what you're supposed to do during an unfulfilling job, or anytime in public for that matter. It's called "Turn it Off". Good luck finding that fulfilling part-time job!
SkullHQ 27
I feel your pain. I naturally sigh even in a good mood, it's just a habit. I get asked why I'm so moody all of the time.
evilplatypus 39
So cut it the **** out. It’s obnoxious and no one wants to hear it.
quelsauvage 12
Get your heart checked. Sighing can be a symptom of a hidden heart issue. Unless, of course, you work with idiots and just need to sigh in order not to tell them all to f-off.