Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Cute
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Gas giant
Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Bored to death
Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML
Sorry, I…
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Corporate
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
She's lost control again
Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Top comments
NaturallyUnlucky 0
That isn't sad. It's adorable.
mrhahn530 0
I plan to continue that behavior until i die...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
therissa 0
I agree. Not sad at all. :) I think it's great you can still act like a kid every now and then.
Alkron 0
That is utterly awesome :D
sceneteasex3 0
well, at least work wasn't so boring. besides, it shows you have a sence of humor. ;D not a FML.
Gemini4t 0
#32: "Also, #29 - it does kill your brain cells, and could injure your vocal chords, but I don't think it would kill them unless they had a LOT of it." I won't address the brain cells thing since others have, but helium does NOT damage your vocal cords (a cord is a length of string, a chord is 3 or more notes played in harmony). The reason your voice changes is because sound travels much faster through helium, thus changing the timbre of your voice. It does nothing to your vocal cords.
heywood 0
What's wrong with having fun? I hate these FMLs of people having harmless fun with friends, espectially when the embarassment factor was so low to begin with- it only gets worse with posting it on Fmylife.com, not better.
Gemini4t 0
Today, I got embarrassed by doing something awesome if not socially appropriate. I had fun but society told me I shouldn't do it, so I went on FML to give society a win by feeling guilty for enjoying life. FML
Chuck3791 0
That's awesome. Not an FML. Bravo! =]
drunkenatheist 0
@26, better watch out or the FML police are gonna come and getcha! I got warned earlier today for criticizing a bogus/lame FML because omg, that ruins the readability of this site. Because lame FMLs don't ruin it, just my pointing them out. *rolls eyes*
sleepykid00 2
Op nothing is wrong playing around like little kids. :) Some of us need it once in a while.
raginazn_67 0
haha YDI because that definitely sounds like fun