Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like it's time for you to leave and if you're worried about getting out of the lease, in most states you can break a lease if there is irreconcilable differences between you and your partner.
Wanderlei Santos 11
you have a typo. should be ex-boyfriend.
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Comments (3)
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like it's time for you to leave and if you're worried about getting out of the lease, in most states you can break a lease if there is irreconcilable differences between you and your partner.
DLBL 23
Usually it requires domestic violence, not just a drunk pisser talking shit.
Wanderlei Santos 11
you have a typo. should be ex-boyfriend.
FluffythePink 23
Why are you with this abusive alcoholic who's still living like a frat boy? You need to sit down and seriously contemplate this question. 8 months is more than enough time to get your exit plan sorted properly...