Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NaturallyUnlucky 0
That isn't sad. It's adorable.
mrhahn530 0
I plan to continue that behavior until i die...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
Sucks2beYouxD 0
Helium is damn fun xD
NoKo_fml 0
This specific post is only a FML to the OP not to a bystander such as our selves. get it right people.
Wolf999 0
haha wow. Always good to have a break from the wife. Or in this case...The husband? ;)
MikesAgirl 0
you cares! i plan on behaving like i do now till i die!
MikesAgirl 0
#98.... wrong!
hsdtt03 0
good to see u have a sense of humor :)
CandyApple 0
people who are saying you can die from this really bring the whole happy innocent immature mood down...
emmersx 0
HHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thats spectacular!!
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Dude that sounds like fun.
iambean 4
that's awesome man! Who gives a shit how old you are.