Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Cute
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Gas giant
Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Bored to death
Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML
Sorry, I…
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Corporate
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
She's lost control again
Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Top comments
NaturallyUnlucky 0
That isn't sad. It's adorable.
mrhahn530 0
I plan to continue that behavior until i die...
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Comments (153)
whatevs80 0
I think this is hilarious and I can totally see myself doing the same. Just because they had a helium tank doesn't mean they are geeks. They could have rented a helium tank for balloons for an office party. If people would learn to let go and have a little innocent fun in life, the world would be a much better place.
jadeho 0
WHY NOT!
brighteyes626 0
how is this an fml?! i'm starting to get really disappointed with this site. how are they letting through so many things that aren't fml's by any stretch of the imagination, and rejecting so many things that are? idk. but anyway, sucking helium instead of working is pretty great, no matter what age you are haha
ddrluna 2
I don't think that's sad. I think it's cute. Don't stop having fun just because you think it might be socially unacceptable. We'll sooner hold you in higher respect for staying true to yourselves rather than suppressing those behaviours.
ZEROGage 0
Dude- I'd do it... sounds like fun.
JessTrek 0
Er, you can die from that. There's no problem bringing out that inner child every now and then but try to do something that won't get you featured on 1000 Ways to Die.
TheRealEllieSan 9
Since when is helium dangerous? You're just inhaling it for a second or two, not like it's all your breathing for a few minutes.
genius_man16 1
This is beyond awesome. It would have been more awesome if your boss walked in, and decided to join in the fun! ;)
embryoyo 3
next time try nitrous oxide
your_face 15
Haha, you guys sound awesome (: Also, #29 - it does kill your brain cells, and could injure your vocal chords, but I don't think it would kill them unless they had a LOT of it.
erikawesome 0
This is not an FML.