Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
stephfml 0
Wear a turtleneck
TEAZO 0
shouldn't of had rough sex before your speech XD
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Comments (179)
audreyates 8
Wear a turtleneck sweater!
jordyxjigsaw 11
I would've said it was makeup, to show what it could look like!!
strawberryspacejam 11
my excuse woulda been i was attacked by dogs
efuado16 2
Oh the irony
datguy55 1
Doesn't matter, had sex
binxers 6
Hahaha! Classic! Favourite.
mkcherry 14
1. immediately after rough sex apply ice to areas that feel bruised, even if the bruise hasn't shown up yet. Or you can use a cold spoon. 2. Buy a light/airy scarf that will just look like a part of your outfit, it doesnt look as strange as wearing a turtle neck in the middle of summer. 3. Invest in Derma-blend, it is a professional makeup and can cover up even the largest and darkest of tattoo or bruises. Its a little expensive but a little goes a long way and you can seriously use it to cover up ANYTHING. i know this all only because I bruise like a tomato and at one point had my best friend confront me because she thought my s/o was hitting me. I guess hearing silly things like I tripped over my cat or hit my leg on the dresser sound like excuses after awhile lol.
clumsycarolyn 17
This is where foundation and turtlenecks come in handy
MelinaC_fml 1
try wearing a turtle neck or a shirt with a high neck line. or even a sweater. you probably shouldn't have had rough sex....... just saying
ZebraPower 9
You could just use it to prove a point. Though I wouldn't know how to explain the bites