Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
He was just practicing his piercings for his future career at Kitty Tat Parlor. You should be grateful you have such an entrepreneurial feline.
Tripartita 45
"Wait, is this NOT your tongue? I've heard I'm supposed to get your tongue…"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (19)
samlovesham1234 9
OOOOUUUUUCH!!! >.<
tigeresscrazy 12
I was going to say that but you beat me to it lol
LyricaSilvan 30
Yowch...definitely not the most fun way to wake up, that's for sure. I just hope you're not one of those people who reflexively lash out when startled awake, otherwise your poor cat probably got knocked right onto the floor.
stressedartist 14
He loooooves you
tbo13 7
I bet that was FURightening