Today, I felt something wet and warm on my arm. I looked down and saw a kid with his mouth attached to my arm. Didn't expect that out of a third grader. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML
Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Don't volunteer to teach at Vampire Academy. Problem solved.
Tripartita 45
THIRD grade?! Jeez, we didn't start orally affixing ourselves to objects until middle school! I hope that kid received the appropriate praise and recognition.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (18)
ThePaperDragon 31
The joys of educating the next generation.
hellnosucka 27
is his father called Hannibal by any chance?
Welshite 40
Don't volunteer to teach at Vampire Academy. Problem solved.
jwolt92 13
Without a doubt best comment ever
RichardPencil 32
Stranger danger!!!!
man_in_black08 28
Atleast his mouth was on your arm. His target could have been somewhere around no mans land area..who knows. Both wet and warm. You wouldnt even know lol
Tripartita 45
THIRD grade?! Jeez, we didn't start orally affixing ourselves to objects until middle school! I hope that kid received the appropriate praise and recognition.
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. What?!?!?! Too soon?
_Adog2645 24
No, it wasn't too soon. Just bad
stressedartist 14
you are delicious
Qandol 26
The Kid either watched all the Twilight s movie, or currently watch the walking dead and is practicing for when he/she become Vampire or Zombie.
BrianCMullin 3
I always knew kids were bloodsucking leeches