Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
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Top comments
leogachi 15
People shouldn't use the words "busy" and "Facebook" in the same sentence, unless that sentence is "I'm too busy for Facebook." Call her out on it. What's she gonna do, stop having sex with you? You aren't having sex anyway.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Unhook the router. Sex. Reconnect.
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Comments (83)
guesswhatlifesux 14
Maybe try something really romantic to get her in the mood? Like make her dinner or clean the house.
noonenoeone 22
Cooking and cleaning are the keys to making women horny? Learn something new everyday, I coulda swore it was my body all this time, but now I know it was dinner and dishes!
leogachi 15
What's romantic about cleaning the house?
a1_z9 10
Well hoovering does take a bit of energy sometimes, maybe if a bloke gets a bit sweaty doing it and takes his shirt off and glistens sexily in the light from the newly cleaned windows it's romantic?
Sk8brdmenace 17
Facebook is stupid. In 100 yrs we won't even interact as humans. Pretty big defining feature of mammals. What species do we become then?
Aimeejasmine 15
You must be fun at parties...
semokco 0
Been there. Her priorities seem to have changed. Spending time with you is less important than having sex with you, which is less important than Facebook. It's all downhill from here.
sahmnc420 13
Fb is awful ruins life!!! I have an act for a couple advice groups (I have chickens and I garden) but I only go on to ask ? Maybe once a month. I'll see family n they are upset we never talk. Um I have a phone I don't talk threw fb
kalbrek009 20
This is nearly word for word what I posted 4 years ago, yet FML refused to post it...it's still happening these days but now also includes the Varage Sale, Trivia Crack & Words With Friends apps...FML still.
alyciawatkins37 13
I feel your pain!
lvg_fml 10
Is there a fb anonymous group. She needs it. Bring her flowers and take her to a romantic dinner and talk about how you feel. If it doesn't help suggest counseling
EPIKxPANDA 13
Some of you are saying that Facebook is dumb and whatever, but here you are, sitting on FML most of your day..
Sk8brdmenace 17
Yeah for about 5 minutes. Don't justify your stupid habit sitting ur fat ass at ur computer for hours eatin cheetos for gossipy bullshit. Why don't u just turn on "days of our lives" you retard and you won't even have to worry about typing
RealTalkByRell 5
It's simple. Be a man go up to her whip your penis out and place it in front of her face. See wat happens to Facebook. Your welcome
Cassandra2015 21
Life has more important priorities than Facebook, I do agree.. I'm sure you've brought it to her attention , but try doing something different