Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
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Top comments
leogachi 15
People shouldn't use the words "busy" and "Facebook" in the same sentence, unless that sentence is "I'm too busy for Facebook." Call her out on it. What's she gonna do, stop having sex with you? You aren't having sex anyway.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Unhook the router. Sex. Reconnect.
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Comments (83)
jberg583 12
Dude... I am in the exact same situation. When we go to bed, she gets under the covers and grabs her phone. Then tells me the next day that I didn't say goodnight.
Marchur 5
What about if you put a schedule in when Facebook is available or just ban Facebook. Hopefully she don't know how to use a proxy. :)
ProSwimmerFL 16
Have sex while she's on Facebook win win.
SookyLala 13
cant stand facebook, i feel for ya
Jethco 15
Yup. Sounds like a woman's logic.
11tmaste 3
What a dumb ****
Nikta_FML 3
Depending if she was on Facebook on her phone or the computer you could of just his her phone or broke the computer, spend some time together # no relation ship guru lol
Cristoforo 17
Create a facebook event for it and invite her
Laroc69 6
Don't ironic hypocrisy? lol
EvilBubbles 9
What's your number? I'll do it for you ;)