Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
That's ******* awesome haha
annalily5 28
Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
tomhofer 14
I'm so psyched for The Hobbit it's gonna be good
ilivpeetajb 0
Same!!
ALlamaOnFire 20
You don't even understand how hyped up I am:) me and my dad (yeah my dad! We're huge LOTR fans) are gonna see it at midnight:') *fangirl over*
LolFMLnot 10
I don't understand all these women complaining on FML about funny guys . . .
laurenvec 3
Seriously! Some women need a sense of humor.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Well I can agree with that for most of those FMLs, but as they say, orgasms don't grow on trees.
gracehi 33
It would be pretty awesome if they did though. "Yep, this one looks ripe... Oh... Ooooooooh yeeeeeeaaaah..."
Sir_Swaggington 6
Because there's a time and a place for everything and that wasn't it lol. If you were about to cum and a girl did something gross that instantly turned you off, I'm sure you'd be upset too. Yes, during sex Gollum = gross
mrz1177 11
Dump him.
whatsupbitches 4
OP's username..is she referring to her boyfriend as "fuckface" just for saying that? Harsh, OP, harsh.
nancyschmancy 9
Ops user name is ******* awesome!
kakarot2 11
Do you prefer skeetstain?
BluAnimal 5
YDI for having a boyfriend.
007type 26
Seriously?
traveler_ghost 12
I pictured that...the whole withering away thing...nice thanks for that
trp2wondrland 9
I did too! Yuck!
lulzcoaster 3
how can it whither there are so many wrinkles already
annie_nk 23
I believe you're thinking of balls or labia. A clit isn't wrinkly.
pandalover69 26
I love Lord of the Rings but even that's too creepy for me, but calling your boyfriend fuckface is pretty harsh
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Something has to make you run, I don't know why you didn't come. Are you as empty as a drum? I don't know why you didn't come.. My precioussssss.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
God I just came in my pants after reading this.
zandalee 20
Withered away ********... Classic.