Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
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Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
You were mugged! Cancel your credit cards.
Maxine17 8
Oh, look how you have failed! This is the best comment I've seen where someone gets their comment number wrong.
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Comments (57)
mtrob121 0
SECOND
YOMyLifeSuck 0
and the funny thing is that your first XD
llcooljoey 0
no you weren't, you were attacked by a pack of wolves in an atempt to save a class of kindergardeners *wink* *wink*
underaegis 0
it must have been in leauge with the stained wine glass
Maxine17 8
Oh, look how you have failed! This is the best comment I've seen where someone gets their comment number wrong.
The_Pleb 0
Lol they get it wrong on purpose so you and other people give them attention, trust me i should know from expierience Your so retarded you dont realise your own mistakes Now go to bed O and back to the FML Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha WIN+5
BeeSkwaird 0
Her so retarded? That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call irony.
greatnt249 0
Talk about fail...you're the one who can't use the reply option correctly, #2.
just_me_tmp 0
This does suck and all, but I don't think it belongs on this site. You got hurt. So what? Everyone gets hurt every once in a while. Some more than others...
NKU_Grad_09 0
Why did this comment get moderated? It is the truth. The OP hurt himself. So what. Everyone does it. Morons.
Herbal_fml 0
Who fricken cares. Your life is not ****** by this. You just have to deal with a cut. Big ******* deal.
pleasetryagain 0
You were mugged! Cancel your credit cards.
lexi_cacao 0
At least now you have a valid reason to *not* do dishes anymore... how many people can say they've been attacked by them?
boredomkills89 0
Why do people just keep flooding this site with stupid parts of their day? Honestly, who the **** cares? you got a little baby cut you little pussy.
Tigg3r 3
Uhm? Last time I checked, a three inch long gash down your arm is pretty bad. This means its long and deep people. The OP could've sliced open a vein. OP FYL. Have fun dealing with that one!!!
alexandraa_fml 0
Please,. OP prob exaggerated for FML purposes. I highly doubt it left a 'gash' unless there was applied force.
Skull_300 0
Your new nickname is "GASH"!
sportsnut 0
oh please, you DO NOT have a ******* gash, you have a small scrape
Ezekeyle 0
Precisely! Suck it up, cupcake! This is so pathetic it should be on MLIA.
ssoccerchick97 16
Do you know? Were you there?
martron3000 5
Speaking as the coffee mug's lawyer, he (Mr. Mug), was acting in self-defense. He thought you were trying to molest him.
LadyKaya 0
LOL, good one...
Thanitos 0
"Trying"? She lubed up a sponge or washcloth with soap and forced it into his hole trying to "clean" it...