Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs with a cup of coffee. It gave me burns on my arm and I sprained my wrist. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
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Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
You were mugged! Cancel your credit cards.
Maxine17 8
Oh, look how you have failed! This is the best comment I've seen where someone gets their comment number wrong.
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Comments (57)
ragsy 7
Who moderates this shit?
SkyDance_fml 0
"Today, my roomate announced that she's sueing me because while she was cleaning my coffee mug, it broke and cut her. I wasn't even there when it happened. FML"
SkyDance_fml 0
@Thanitos (i tried to reply but it somehow messed up) The sad part is, this happens almost every day to Mr. Mug...maybe being given oral often partially makes up for it, though.
Ninjaface 0
By any chance is your "suite" located in a prison?
onemiletread 0
or LSMSA? on second thought, that's a bit like a prison...
enough4 0
There are homeless families sleeping in their cars this winter due to the recession and this asshole's complaining that he got scratched by a broken coffee mug. Unbelievable what this country has come to.
loooooooooool_fml 1
You know, this kind of comparing has always gotten on my nerves. So what if there are homeless families sleeping in their cars. If shit happens to you (e.g you break your leg or something like that), wouldn't it piss you off when somebody comes to you and says "There are homeless families sleeping in their cars this winter due to the recession and you're complaining because of this *insert random accident here?".
BIGRICK08 0
You know, this kind of shit has always gotten on my nerves. How the **** are you going to sit there and critisize someone for telling a story on a website you dumb bitch. They dont give a shit about your opinion. This is not a website that is for you to vent off of your ****** up life. You are the type of people that are making to world how it is today. judging other people by them writing a story on a website about a ******* mug cutting her. Damn you make me sick
xobeachlvr 0
HAHAHAHA AGREED!
onemiletread 0
@SkyDance: That actually made me laugh out loud. But, I'm too civilized to use the internet slang for that phrase.
abradant_spoon 0
it's 3 inches long, not deep! read people
voodootrucker 0
sorry for sounding stupid to you live in a hotel why call your apartment a suite
Sock_fml 0
I hate you for posting this you stupid ******. If you don't have anything to write about then shut the **** up.
judomemo 0
ninja coffie mug is in hiding!!!!